I have been MIA again for a few days. Just stuff that has kept me busy, and then I spent all day yesterday out with my little girl.
My MIL took the boys all day and overnight for me while Mike was out of town. So Megan and I started our day yesterday after cheer. We went out for lunch, went to Justice and found a ton of cute clothes for back to school. I would say that 85% of what we found was on clearance too. That is the one really good thing about AZ. For some reason, they put out these adorable fall clothes for the next season coming up, but it is still pretty hot for many more months. So all of the shorts and short sleeve things are on clearance so they can put out all of the long sleeve things, and wool skirts!!! LOL.
So we spent probably 3 hours in ONE store trying on clothes. Then we went on over to the Chandler Mall. We were there for a long time and found a few more things for school and had dinner.
We came home and scrapped until 11:00 last night and then finally went to bed. It was a blast.
Anyway....I don't know how I got off on that rant.
Today we stopped at a friend's house to drop off some Polly Pocket stuff that she had left last week. Her mom asked if Megan wanted to stay for awhile and go swimming and then she would bring her back by when they had to leave for an appointment.
A little background: There is another girl at Megan' school that has that queen bee mentality. She is obnoxious, has rich parents so she buys everything for popularity, and for some reason has decided that she doesn't like Megan. I personally think it is because Megan was the last new girl in the class last year, and Megan might have stolen some of this little girl's thunder.
Then two weeks after school ended, there was a slumber party that Megan came home from crying. She said evil girl was there and was mean to her. Apparently evil girl said that Megan stepped on her and didn't say she was sorry, and rallied the rest of the little girls to shun Megan for the rest of the party. Even the birthday girl told Megan that she would never invite her over to her house again. So she has been thinking about that all summer.
Fortunately evil girl has been away ALL summer until last week, so we haven't had to deal with her.
OK, there really is a point to all this, so stay with me. Today Megan comes home from nice girl's house and is upset. She said that nice girl told Megan that evil girl was at her house last week and said that Megan is retarded. I asked Megan what nice girl said to evil girl, and she said she didn't say anything. I asked her if they talked about it anymore after nice girl said that to Megan and she said no. I'm really surprised that nice girl brought it up to Megan to be honest. They really have similar personalities so I don't know why she said that to her. She is usually very compassionate.
I think evil girl found out that nice girl has spent a lot of time with her this summer, and she might be a little jealous of that. Who knows.
But why is this starting so early? I just want to go over and punch evil girl in the face. There is absolutely nothing that Megan has done to evil girl other than exist. Have any of you had anything like this happen with your older girls? Lisa? Beth? Jen? June? What do I do? These little girl politics are going to drive me crazy.
Megan makes friends easily, but evil girl seems to have some sort of hypnotic thing over the entire female part of the class. (Hmmm, buying friendship???) I just don't know what to do about this and it totally breaks my heart.
So, what can I do? Mike and I think that we should wait until school starts, give it a few weeks, and see what happens. If we should talk to evil girl's mom. Who we actually know, so it isn't like we would back her into a corner and point fingers at evil girl. Just try to say, "They are so young, what can we do about this?"
I would never consider doing this if they were older. I know that they need to duke it out and learn on their own like we all did. But 7,8,9 is just so young and they might not know how to handle it themselves.
Crap. I don't know. I still want to go over and punch her in her evil little face. ;)
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006
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4 comments:
Let me tell you Kerry that YES...I have been through this. Pretty similar situation too. Some other little girl just got it in her head that she didn't like Alex. She spent almost her whole 4th grade year with this hideous girl making her life just awful! She wouldn't let me step in though (although I did have a talk with her teacher) and it worked out in the end. I think you should see how it goes and also see how your daughter would like to handle the situation. Sometimes, we parents stepping in, just embarrasses them even more or makes the situation even worse...let me know how things go:)
You're not gonna like this Kerry, but my advice is to let Megan handle it on her own. As long as life and limb aren't at risk, she needs to learn how to navigate these rough waters. Girls can be so mean (thus, the movie Mean Girls). A really good book is Queen Bees and Wannabees.
Most girls go through this and they survive. They learn really helpful life skills too. I've had to bite my tongue many times. The few times I did get involved I regretted it. Girls can be fickle. She'll be okay. You are a wonderful mom who she communicates with and that's what is important. Listen with compassion and let her vent. Ask her if there is anything you can do. Let her guide you.
OK, now all that said. Lemme at this little hellion. I've got a few things I'd like to tell her.
~June
"I think evil girl found out that nice girl has spent a lot of time with her this summer, and she might be a little jealous of that."
I think I'd invite Evil Spawn over for a one on one playdate with Megan (if Megan's willing). If Evil Spawn continues with the trash talk behind Megan's back after that, I'd suggest that Megan use her ignore button. Crap; it doesn't work in real life! OK- have a heart to heart with her and encourage her to play with the nice people and try not to let the mean ones hurt her with their evil spawn-ness attitudes.
I'm sorry she's hurting. :(
UGH! I am not looking forward to that. Ellie's only 4 and she and her friends have already figured out the whole, "You're not my friend anymore" thing.
It's totally normal and it will go on until she's out of college. I would let her try and work it out on her own because she's always going to be experiencing some form of it and she has to learn to deal with it. The book June suggested is really good. Give it a try!
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