I'm so excited to sit down. OMG I have been walking every day this past week and let me tell you that the hills around my house SUCK. The worst thing is, my house happens to be the one on the TOP of the hill, so there is no getting around it. If you go down the hill feeling like you are invincible and ready for a stab at exercise, you have to drag yourself right back up if you want to get home. The bright side is that I can collapse in my own yard once I make it up the hill and I can't breathe. That way at least I look like a doof in my own yard and not passed out in a neighbor's yard.
I have actually started walking for a little over a month. Megan and I do it together mostly, but I knew when school started I wanted to get back into a daily routine and be able to go out on my own during school hours. I still go out with the kids after dinner so we all get exercise.
A life shift happened too, and it took hitting a rock bottom to learn a few things. I look back and know that I have spent the last year here really depressed. I don't think it ever came across in any of my posts because I wanted to convince myself that things were OK. On the outside I think they were.... but on the inside I was struggling with some things for a long time. I wasn't myself.
I know I stopped taking care of myself. I just didn't care. I wanted to hide in the house all day but I didn't want my kids living an unfair lifestyle because of MY depression. So I kicked my butt to at least try to get out and look 'normal.' I am happy here, and have been as far as location. It's the life stuff. I stopped eating well, gained weight, pulled my hair back every single day for a year and took no pride in myself at all.
But like a re-birth I'm able to look back on the year and no without a doubt that part of my life is OVER. I'm so excited about the future now. I am taking care of myself, which means that I am taking better care of my family. Whom I love so much, and a husband that I love beyond measure. It feels good to be in love again, and feel like we did when we were teenagers. Some outside aspects of our life that we can't control are still sucky.... but I know that a united front is unstoppable. And the things we CAN control are wonderful. Every soul needs to be nourished once in awhile.
I have actually started walking for a little over a month. Megan and I do it together mostly, but I knew when school started I wanted to get back into a daily routine and be able to go out on my own during school hours. I still go out with the kids after dinner so we all get exercise.
A life shift happened too, and it took hitting a rock bottom to learn a few things. I look back and know that I have spent the last year here really depressed. I don't think it ever came across in any of my posts because I wanted to convince myself that things were OK. On the outside I think they were.... but on the inside I was struggling with some things for a long time. I wasn't myself.
I know I stopped taking care of myself. I just didn't care. I wanted to hide in the house all day but I didn't want my kids living an unfair lifestyle because of MY depression. So I kicked my butt to at least try to get out and look 'normal.' I am happy here, and have been as far as location. It's the life stuff. I stopped eating well, gained weight, pulled my hair back every single day for a year and took no pride in myself at all.
But like a re-birth I'm able to look back on the year and no without a doubt that part of my life is OVER. I'm so excited about the future now. I am taking care of myself, which means that I am taking better care of my family. Whom I love so much, and a husband that I love beyond measure. It feels good to be in love again, and feel like we did when we were teenagers. Some outside aspects of our life that we can't control are still sucky.... but I know that a united front is unstoppable. And the things we CAN control are wonderful. Every soul needs to be nourished once in awhile.
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5 comments:
Oh babe!! I feel for you. I hear you.
Life is tough sometimes....
http://qwendykay.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-love-him-and-my-life.html
That was a great blog post. I'm so happy. Love you.
good for you!!!!
You look and sound fabulous.
That ipcture of you is gorgeous. I'm so sorry you were having such a rough time, but it's totally understandable. WOO HOO for your new goals. LOVE YA!
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